Musing; A Year of Firsts

I got into year 2016 a mess. A total hot mess. My head was everywhere except in the right place. There was this invisible web I just could not walk out of. From the very first day of this year, I started experiencing some firsts. Really, I didn’t even take note of these firsts till the twenty first day of the twelfth month. Why that day? Well, it was a first too.

Let’s take a ride through the year. Every year, till the 31st of December 2015, I always attended crossover service, without fail. 2015 was ending on a sour note for me and that December, I was sorting out stuff, for the year ahead. I had plans. I needed a change. I planned to go for the crossover service, but at the last minute, I changed my mind. Truth is, memories flooded my mind and I just did not have the strength to drive myself. So, I curled on the sofa, and joined the service online. When the tears started, I didn’t know. What triggered it, I can’t exactly say right now. The dam just opened. I gave way to it. Next thing I remember is that I woke up and it was first of January, 2016; my gateway into the firsts.


You see, January is my birth month and from December, I always look forward to it. This particular January, I wasn’t looking forward to. I didn’t want to celebrate or mark my birthday alone. Alone? I’ll explain. I was separated from my husband, unwillingly, but it was a battle for life. I chose life. As much as I had to make that decision, I loved him, very deeply. So you see, my emotions were everywhere. I had to sort out my feeling for him and doing the best by myself. It was a tight spot to be in.

I had to relocate due to my separation. That’s one of the best things that happened to me till date. Plunging myself into volunteering, I sought to really live my life and to give back to the society. What I had to offer at the time was myself, so I gave my all. New relationships came up along the way, I made new friends, one of whom I will forever be grateful for. Remember January is my birth month? And that I wasn’t particularly looking forward to this January? Well, this birthday that was supposed to be so-so turned out very memorable, a first in its own way.

For the first time in my three decades plus years on earth, I had an accident. It could have turned out really badly. A motor bike came off a blind spot and hit me on a very busy road. I fell, right in front of a vehicle. By divine intervention, the driver of that vehicle did not move when he should have, so he avoided running me over. I came off from that experience with a sprained ankle and wrist and some ache in the ribs. I’m so grateful that first didn’t signify an end for me.
My personality confuses me at times. I could at once be very introverted and shy and at the same time have a huge rush of adrenaline, looking to try out some daring things. In 2016, I ticked one of those daring things, though it never was on my list in the first place. The thrill was ecstatic. 

Choosing to live unapologetically, I bared me. This was big deal considering I’m super private. Considering the secrecy around our living, as Africans, the urge to present a perfect front to the world, this was a daring move. Did I regret it? Absolutely not. In doing that, I could reach out to more people, I could help others, in the little way I could. This brought tears to my eyes in some way but smiles to my lips in others. What really is the purpose of life if one cannot be of use to others? 

Being a creative, I love works of art, in different forms. I was in Ilorin a little over three years ago. I planned having henna art on my hands and legs but somehow, could not get to it. My three year desire came to reality in 2016. I sat before this very young and beautiful woman of northern extraction in Nigeria, known for their natural affinity for henna designs, being their cultural heritage, in the interior of their settlement, wondering what I was doing there. Suddenly, the possible dangers of being where I was, no one knowing I was there, hit me. But, I was already there, the outcome of my visit there outweighed thoughts of the dangers. I showed her the design I wanted and she set to work. Eventually, the end product was a far cry from the sample, but, hey, I had my first henna art and I’ll be returning for more, though in a safer environment. 

This year, I saw cinema movies by myself. I saw trailers and decided to see the movies. So, I took myself to the cinema, a number of times, and enjoyed my movies. The first time, it felt awkward, I felt all eyes were on me, like, who comes to the movies on their own? Especially a young beautiful lady? And, honestly, the times I have gone, at least, for my showings, I was the only one there alone. I stopped caring after the first time, made repeated visits and will still make visits. I came to enjoy going alone.

For the first time, I saw the insides of a courtroom. I have seen them before in movies, but I physically stepped into one this year, and I wasn’t impressed (rolls eyes). Apologies to my lawyer friends though. It was in this courtroom that my firsts hit me. They started playing before my eyes like a movie. Going over these events later, I went through different emotions in my head. One thing stood out clearly though, I’m not getting out of 2016 as I got into it. Was it perfect? Definitely not. Was it all I expected? Far from it. I’m not even sure I had expectations of 2016. Did I have regrets? Nope! I actually look back and count my blessings, because I definitely had loads of them. So, I toast to my year of firsts and look forward to many more awesome firsts in the year to come.

To you reading, I celebrate you and the first time you visited my corner of the web. Thank you for coming back, thank you for telling your friends. All through the coming year, may your experiences be positive and bring gladness to your heart!