Musing; This Golden Life
I'm no stranger to pain. All sorts of pain - physical, emotional, psychological - all forms. So, I write this from a place of deep empathy.
I come from a culture that makes the success of a relationship the sole responsibility of the woman. If a courtship breaks up, the woman is asked "what did/didn't you do?". If a marriage breaks up, she is equally asked "why didn't you fight for your marriage?", as though the relationship is the sole property of the woman or that the man is doing her a favour being with her. If she should have fought, he darn well should fight too. I started to ask questions, I started to query the status quo. I started to poke at ancient boundaries. And I started finding answers.
My first conclusion is that, every human being has just one life to live. The quality of that life lies in the hands of the one who lives it. Why should I allow a fellow human being turn me into a sorry mess or outright terminate my life because I chose to share it with them? I do not agree with culture and tradition that I'm to live for a man. No, I was created for much more than that. And I won't manage my life.
I also have come to realize that what you allow is what you live with. Heck! Why make yourself subservient to another human being? Just because you love him? The very fact that you entrust your heart to him has conferred a huge responsibility on him, to protect, guard and return your love. Loving should not be made a crime, it isn't. You are worth far more than being talked at, talked down on, humiliated or embarrassed. Well, I know I'm worth more than that.
Love is an equal partnership. Both of you should each bring in a hundred percent, blend them together and achieve a stronger hundred percent. Know your worth. You have just one life to live, just ONE. Living it happily or as a slave to the whims and ego of another is absolutely your responsibility.
Culture, traditions and the other shackles that are hung around a woman's neck originated from somewhere, from someone. A human being sat down and decided things should run one way, and his opinion became law. Someone else can also come up with an upgrade, update or an entirely new version of those outdated thoughts. Why can't I hold my man in public? Who says I can't kiss him outside the walls of our house? Why should I be shy to call my beloved by a pet name? Why do I have to kneel to greet him? Methinks a warm cuddly hug and a wet peck on his face is far more exciting than going on my knees, avoiding his eyes as I do. Why can't I have a voice in the running of a home I'm part of? Who says I'm not an equal partner? Thrash all these outdated ideas please.
I will love wholly, first myself and then the special man, secure in the realization of his existence. I will contribute my quota to my society and the world, by extension. I will eat good food, appreciate and revel in the beauty of nature, make good friends and laugh deeply. Religion, culture, traditions, cannot keep me in shackles. They can't drain life of its vitality and beauty. I hold on to the truth, but not the socially, culturally or religiously vetted truth, but the truth that comes from searching deep and understanding the ways, intents and purposes of God, the maker of all.
Why? Because there's just one life, one golden life. One that I will give account for.
I come from a culture that makes the success of a relationship the sole responsibility of the woman. If a courtship breaks up, the woman is asked "what did/didn't you do?". If a marriage breaks up, she is equally asked "why didn't you fight for your marriage?", as though the relationship is the sole property of the woman or that the man is doing her a favour being with her. If she should have fought, he darn well should fight too. I started to ask questions, I started to query the status quo. I started to poke at ancient boundaries. And I started finding answers.
My first conclusion is that, every human being has just one life to live. The quality of that life lies in the hands of the one who lives it. Why should I allow a fellow human being turn me into a sorry mess or outright terminate my life because I chose to share it with them? I do not agree with culture and tradition that I'm to live for a man. No, I was created for much more than that. And I won't manage my life.
I also have come to realize that what you allow is what you live with. Heck! Why make yourself subservient to another human being? Just because you love him? The very fact that you entrust your heart to him has conferred a huge responsibility on him, to protect, guard and return your love. Loving should not be made a crime, it isn't. You are worth far more than being talked at, talked down on, humiliated or embarrassed. Well, I know I'm worth more than that.
Love is an equal partnership. Both of you should each bring in a hundred percent, blend them together and achieve a stronger hundred percent. Know your worth. You have just one life to live, just ONE. Living it happily or as a slave to the whims and ego of another is absolutely your responsibility.
Culture, traditions and the other shackles that are hung around a woman's neck originated from somewhere, from someone. A human being sat down and decided things should run one way, and his opinion became law. Someone else can also come up with an upgrade, update or an entirely new version of those outdated thoughts. Why can't I hold my man in public? Who says I can't kiss him outside the walls of our house? Why should I be shy to call my beloved by a pet name? Why do I have to kneel to greet him? Methinks a warm cuddly hug and a wet peck on his face is far more exciting than going on my knees, avoiding his eyes as I do. Why can't I have a voice in the running of a home I'm part of? Who says I'm not an equal partner? Thrash all these outdated ideas please.
I will love wholly, first myself and then the special man, secure in the realization of his existence. I will contribute my quota to my society and the world, by extension. I will eat good food, appreciate and revel in the beauty of nature, make good friends and laugh deeply. Religion, culture, traditions, cannot keep me in shackles. They can't drain life of its vitality and beauty. I hold on to the truth, but not the socially, culturally or religiously vetted truth, but the truth that comes from searching deep and understanding the ways, intents and purposes of God, the maker of all.
Why? Because there's just one life, one golden life. One that I will give account for.
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