Break The Chain Series; Bullying

Is your child being bullied? Worse still, is your child the bully? Bullying is repeated verbal, physical, social or psychological aggressive behaviour by a person or group directed towards a less powerful person or group that is intended to cause harm, distress or fear. In whatever form or way it comes, bullying is never right. Do you know the signs and effects of bullying? Is your child at risk of being bullied or being a bully? Find out.

Types of bullying behaviour
There are some specific types of bullying behaviour:

• verbal or written abuse - such as targeted name-calling or jokes, or displaying offensive posters.
• violence - including threats of violence.
• sexual harassment - unwelcome or unreciprocated conduct of a sexual nature, which could reasonably be expected to cause offence, humiliation or intimidation.
• discrimination including racial discrimination - treating people differently because of their identity.
• cyberbullying - either online or via mobile phone.

What is not bullying?
There are also some behaviours, which, although they might be unpleasant or distressing, are not bullying:

• mutual conflict - which involves a disagreement, but not an imbalance of power. Unresolved mutual conflict can develop into bullying if one of the parties targets the other repeatedly in retaliation.
• single-episode acts of nastiness or physical aggression, or aggression directed towards many different people, is not bullying.
• social rejection or dislike is not bullying unless it involves deliberate and repeated attempts to cause distress, exclude or create dislike by others.

Warning Signs
There are many warning signs that may indicate that someone is affected by bullying - either being bullied or bullying others. Recognizing the warning signs is an important first step in taking action against bullying. Not all children who are bullied or are bullying others ask for help.


It is important to talk with children who show signs of being bullied or bullying others. These warning signs can also point to other issues or problems, such as depression or substance abuse. Talking to the child can help identify the root of the problem.

Signs a Child is Being Bullied 
Look for changes in the child. However, be aware that not all children who are bullied exhibit warning signs. Some signs that may point to a bullying problem are: 

1. Unexplainable injuries.
2. Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry.
3. Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness.
4. Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.
5. Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares.
6. Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school.
7. Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations.
8. Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem.
9. Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide.

If you know someone in serious distress or danger, don’t ignore the problem. Get help right away.

Risk Factors
No single factor puts a child at risk of being bullied or bullying others. Bullying can happen anywhere - cities, suburbs, or rural towns. Depending on the environment, some groups - such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered (LGBT) youth, youth with disabilities, and socially isolated youth - may be at an increased risk of being bullied. 

Impact on students who are bullied

Students who are bullied can experience negative physical, school, and mental health issues. They are more likely to:

• feel disconnected from school and not like school.
• have lower academic outcomes, including lower attendance and completion rates.
• lack quality friendships at school.
• display high levels of emotion that indicate vulnerability and low levels of resilience.
• be less well accepted by peers, avoid conflict and be socially withdrawn.
• have low self-esteem.
• have depression, anxiety, feelings of loneliness and isolation.
• have nightmares.
• feel wary or suspicious of others.
• have an increased risk of depression and substance abuse.
• in extreme cases, have a higher risk of suicide, however, the reasons why a person may be at risk of suicide are extremely complicated.
• feel depressed and anxious.

Contributing factors to being bullied may include:

• depression
• family problems
• history of trauma
• belonging to a minority group, where isolation or lack of community support is an issue.

Impact on bullies
Students who frequently bully others are more likely to:

• feel disconnected from school and dislike school.
• get into fights, vandalise property and leave school early.
• In addition, recent research has shown that bullying perpetration (in Year 10) is associated with an increased likelihood of theft, violent behaviour and binge drinking.

Impact on bystanders
Students who witness bullying may:

• be reluctant to attend school.
• feel fearful or powerless to act and guilty for not acting.
• have increased mental health problems, including depression and anxiety.
• have increased use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs.

Impact on schools
When bullying continues and a school does not take action, the entire school climate and culture can be negatively affected. This impacts on student learning and engagement, staff retention and satisfaction and parental confidence in the school, which can lead to:

• the school developing an environment of fear and disrespect.
• students experiencing difficulty learning.
• students feeling insecure.
• students disliking school.
• students perceiving that teachers and staff have little control and don't care about them.

The Relationship between Bullying and Suicide
Media reports often link bullying with suicide. However, most youth who are bullied do not have thoughts of suicide or engage in suicidal behaviors. 

Although kids who are bullied are at risk of suicide, bullying alone is not the cause. Many issues contribute to suicide risk, including depression, problems at home, and trauma history. Additionally, specific groups have an increased risk of suicide, including American Indian and Alaskan Native, Asian American youth. This risk can be increased further when these kids are not supported by parents, peers, and schools. Bullying can make an unsupportive situation worse.

Generally, children who are bullied have one or more of the following risk factors:

• Are perceived as different from their peers, such as being overweight or underweight, wearing glasses or different clothing, being new to a school, or being unable to afford what kids consider “cool”.
• Are perceived as weak or unable to defend themselves.
• Are depressed, anxious, or have low self esteem.
• Are less popular than others and have few friends.
• Do not get along well with others, seen as annoying or provoking, or antagonize others for attention.

However, even if a child has these risk factors, it doesn’t mean that they will be bullied.

Children More Likely to Bully Others 
There are two types of kids who are more likely to bully others:

1. Some are well-connected to their peers, have social power, are overly concerned about their popularity, and like to dominate or be in charge of others.
2. Others are more isolated from their peers and may be depressed or anxious, have low self esteem, be less involved in school, be easily pressured by peers, or not identify with the emotions or feelings of others.

Children who have these factors are also more likely to bully others;

• Are aggressive or easily frustrated.
• Have less parental involvement or having issues at home.
• Think badly of others.
• Have difficulty following rules.
• View violence in a positive way.
• Have friends who bully others.

Remember, those who bully others do not need to be stronger or bigger than those they bully. The power imbalance can come from a number of sources:

• popularity, 
• Strength, 
• cognitive ability

Children who bully may have more than one of these characteristics.

Be on the watch out for your kids, read the signs, ask them questions. And, make the home environment a very pleasant one for them - children from abusive homes or homes where there is constant fighting and quarrelling - are more likely to bully others. If you don't look out for them, who will?

Culled and edited. Credits: StopBullying, Department of Education and Training, Google images