Musing; What The Heart Wants

Orente sat up in bed. It was the early hours of the 31st of December. She could not sleep. Her heart weighed a tonne. Her face had streaks of dried tears, even as fresh ones traced their way down.

On this day, three short years ago, just about this hour, she was wide awake, but for a different reason. She was smiling in the illumination of her phone. Akanji had been serenading her for close to eight months, consistently. This night, she fell flat for him. She was replaying the voice messages he had sent her and his voice, oh, that voice, touched a deep part of her heart. 


She giggled like a toddler and fell into her pillow. She slightly rolled around and pressed the play button again. His voice carried on the air around her, wrapping her in a warm embrace. The rich timbre of his voice, in a singsong manner reeled out these words:

I have travelled far

I have travelled very far

Times there were I thought

My restless heart would finally berth

A gaping space however remained

Like a sailor without a compass

I roamed, searching for the one 

That would plug the void

Then, you breezed into my life

And like water given in the desert

You brought satisfaction undescribable to me

Make my joy full Orente

Make room for me in your heart

She had typed YES! YES!! YES!!! Her heart had completely melted. This very minute, Orente was looking at his picture on her phone. She had enlarged it as much as it could go to keep the pixels clear enough. She slowly scrolled, admiring every of his facial features. He had this smile that melts her heart, the setting of his teeth looked like they were chiselled and carefully set in his mouth. His eyes carried a message she couldn't fully unravel. He treated her like a queen. She was the envy of those who saw them. If Akanji could, he would have carried her, to avoid her stepping in the dust. He was both a child and a man around her. When he laughed, she laughed too, she just could not help it. When she needed advice, he provided from his deep wisdom. She had it all!

Today, three years later, she could not explain how she let him go. She had been stupid. She had taken him for granted. Now, she longed to look into his eyes again. She longed to hear his voice, whispering in her ears. She wanted to feel his beautiful fingers close around hers. 

Orente stared at Akanji's pictures on her phone, again. The tears flowed more.