Musing; The Time To Love Is Now

Last week, I could not blog like I normally do. I was engaged somewhere else. I'll try to cover for that as much as I can this week.

It's interesting what today signifies worldwide - the day of/for lovers. As a teenager, Valentine's day came with its' excitement (I wonder why. I never had any reason to look forward to receiving gifts. Guess I just caught the peer bug at the time). Growing up, it has taken up a totally different meaning to me and I have concluded that everyday should be made special for people who are in love, by them. If you only express love one day, annually, you certainly are not in love.


Some ten, fifteen years ago, the noise about HIV/AIDS was so loud, the deaf heard it. It was like the worst thing that could hit humanity. Over time, some distractions came along and talks about HIV/AIDS entered the archives. Recently, I'm doing some work in this area. This prompted the thoughts I'm about to share with you.

The African culture, we know, is a male-centred one. It has been like that for a while and we seem content with keeping it that way. However, some of us will not let that culture rest till we can effect some positive and permanent changes.


This is a culture that sees an unmarried woman as jinxed, incomplete, proud, demon possessed, an overachiever, and the list goes on. And I pause to ask, who makes these rules? Why should a woman's destiny be tied to whether she wears a band or two on her finger and answers to a man's name? Who says she can't achieve much, or anything, if she isn't under the roof of a man? Who says all she has achieved as a single woman mean nothing if she isn't under a man (pun intended)?

Bring your seat close woman, let's talk some heart to heart talk. If you do not stop seeing yourself as needing the validation of a man to attain your full potential, you will never attain it. You are a complete individual. Everything you need to function as a full human being is in you.


I'm not anti-marriage. I love the company of men, I like having my man to confide in and to fall on when I want someone to carry me and my burdens. However, I draw the line where I'm seen and/or treated as his property or an appendage to him. 

Listen woman, love yourself enough to know that you deserve the best. Love yourself enough to know you have a say in your health and what concerns it. Hold your man to the same standards he hold you to. If he cheats, take it up and make him take responsibility for it, don't excuse it. He has girlfriends but comes back to you at night and you're content with that? Heck! Check it. HIV is very real and people are living with it. HPV is very real. Hepatitis is sitting somewhere out there, together with a host of other terrible diseases and infections. Why should you sit in your house, innocently, and die of something that is not your fault?

Dear woman, the time to love yourself is now! Today is Valentine's day, take yourself out. Spoil yourself, buy yourself a gift. Love yourself, love your children, protect your children. I have heard some really heartbreaking stories and I keep asking myself what the woman was looking at till the situation degenerated so bad. 


Woman, if you have a good man, treat him right. Love him. Man, you have a responsibility to protect your wife and kid(s). Do right by them, think of them before you take any rash decisions. Marriage should make two people better and stronger, not kill, tear down or maim.

Hold your loved one tight, not just in your arms, but in your heart.

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