Musing; Ok, Seriously, Stop That!

By default, women are wired to tend, submit, soothe, nurture, nurse, and all those other adjectives we can think about. Women are born mothers, but, becoming a good, bad, caring, indifferent or fantastic one rests on growing years of training and instruction. One thing baffles me though, as much as a woman is trained to give, hardly does she get trained to receive.



To receive love, affection, care, pampering, kind words, soft touches and endearing looks. She gives ALL, pours out her all into pleasing her husband and raising her children. And when the children leave, she returns to where it all started - waiting on her husband hand and foot. Before you think this is 'women's lib', let me clarify something. Women's Liberation, commonly referred to as women's lib, to me, is a child wrongly named. I stand for some of the ideas of the front liners, but the name shifts their focus attimes.

From the beginning of time, when woman was created, she was not pronounced lower than the man. Infact, some people have argued that the woman was made from the man's rib, a little below his heart, to be equal to him/beside him and to be protected by him. Now, considering that, where does the idea of bondage, from which liberation is needed, come from? 

Yes, I agree that culturally, traditionally and sometimes due to religious inclinations, women have been trampled on and relegated. If you need liberation from that, go ahead.

However, my stand is this. If a woman knows who she really is, who she was made to be, no culture or tradition or religion can make her less human. It does not require aggression, noise or violence, it only need the quiet grace a woman is made with. Woman, take your life in your hands! Take a trip within yourself. Question yourself. 
Who are you?
Who were you made to be?
What question were you created to answer?
Which lives were you sent to touch?
What new things are you meant to discover or invent?  
What things do you enjoy doing?

You get my drift? Prod yourself till you can confidently describe YOU in a simple, uncomplicated sentence. 

Ok, seriously, STOP giving excuses for where you are or what you haven't done.

STOP blaming your husband or the kids.

Seriously, just STOP looking everywhere but inwards.

I'm a woman that stands by a woman submitting to HER OWN man, so I will never say you should disregard your man. But, pause to think about it, before you met that man, were you not living your life? Were you not making decisions for yourself? Why will you suddenly become a zombie because you're in love? Love does not subtract, it adds. If you lose yourself because you're 'in love', please, think again. Is it really love?

Stop explaining why you deserved that shove - you didn't deserve it. Stop blaming yourself because your husband cheated on you - he chose to after considering other options he had. Seriously, stop giving up your dreams and aspirations - you're not an extension, you're an entity on your own.

Allow yourself be pampered. You deserve gifts, when you get one from the man in your life, savour it, enjoy it. As you treat him like a king, allow him treat you like the queen you are. 

Get out, smell the flowers, soak in the warmth of the sun, kick off your shoes and feel the sand on the beach, read a book, write a book, do your crafts, enjoy a painting - LIVE! 

Sister, you deserve to live a full and fulfilling life, and you can. No one can do it for you, only YOU can.

Images: Google