Coping With Suicidal Thoughts
Life comes with many challenges. Sometimes, the burden weighs so heavily on one that you feel the only way out is to off yourself. You're not alone; many of us have had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn't mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. This pain seems overwhelming and permanent at the moment. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.
Coping with suicidal thoughts: the first steps
Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now
Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: "I will wait 24 hours and won't do anything drastic during that time." Or, wait a week.
Thoughts and actions are two different things — your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There’s is no deadline, no one pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between the suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.
Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol
Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.
Step #3: Make your home safe
Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.
Step #4: Be hopeful — people DO get through this
Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.
Step #5: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself
Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a friend, a therapist, a member of the clergy, a teacher, a family doctor, a coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a helpline. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.
A Risky Habit
Suicidal intentions are prompted by a desperate need for relief from intensely painful feelings. Surviving suicidal thoughts is about learning how to find relief without resorting to suicide. Simply having suicidal thoughts does not mean you will act on them. However, the habit of repeatedly thinking about suicide is a risky one. Repetition brings a sense of falsely comforting familiarity. It dulls the instinctive recoil from danger. Though it may be difficult, hold on to the belief that there ARE ways to resist depression and find relief.
Making a Safety Plan
A safety plan helps you plan ahead for the times when you may feel particularly low and at risk of acting on your suicidal thoughts. It is a way to personalise and summarise the possible strategies for taking care of yourself.
"My doctor suggested writing a letter from my ‘well self’ to my ‘suicidal self’ to read at times of crisis. It was very effective to read the words coming ‘from myself’, with options and things that might help."
- Iona 24, North England
A safety plan supports your healthier self – the bit of you that wants to hold on and survive – when things are hard and you are feeling overwhelmed. The strategies listed here offer a solid foundation for creating a safety plan and for working towards breaking the suicidal thinking habit:
Make a commitment to yourself
When you notice thoughts of suicide, challenge the self-bullying habit and make a commitment to taking care of yourself as best you possibly can for the moment. Remind yourself to follow your safety plan if you have made one.
Attend to your self care needs
Suicidal thoughts arise as a result of deeply painful feelings of despair and hopelessness. Recognise the pain you are feeling as something which needs a compassionate and caring response. Practise constructive ways to take care of yourself when you are feeling this way.
Tell someone how you’re feeling
Tell someone else how you are feeling or get someone to be with you. Be prepared for non-professionals to be shocked by what you tell them, and don’t expect a ‘perfect’ response – it is always better to make human contact than to stay isolated and alone with your thoughts.
Reduce the risks
Protect yourself from impulsively acting on your thoughts by putting dangerous objects out of immediate reach. Preferably give pills, weapons etc to someone else for safe-keeping, but even putting them in a locked or inaccessible place makes it a little harder to act impulsively.
Plan to get professional help
It is unreasonable to see suicide as the only solution if you haven’t sought any professional help for depression and suicidal thinking. Doctors and counsellors help many people move on from depression and get appropriate help. You may need to challenge yourself about what’s stopping you getting help.
Check medication side effects
Be aware that some anti-depressant medication can increase the risk of suicidal thinking, especially when you first start taking them. Also, when the medication first starts taking effect it can increase your energy and motivation before improving your mood, increasing the risk of acting on suicidal thoughts. Talk to your doctor about the risks and be extra vigilant with other strategies for keeping yourself safe.
Check alcohol and drugs
Both alcohol and drugs tend to reduce your inhibitions and make it more likely you could do something you will regret the next day. Check your alcohol/drug consumption and try to cut down. Try not to drink alone or to end up alone after drinking.
Minimise time spent alone
Depression and suicidal thinking thrive in isolation. Try to minimise time spent alone in your room – take work to the library, ask friends to be with you at vulnerable times, make plans ahead for weekends and other lonelier times, generally work on building your support networks.
Give yourself small goals
Each evening set yourself small tasks or goals for the next day. It can be something as simple as watching a certain TV programme. Or set yourself another task as soon as you have completed one. Just knowing you can still do things you set for yourself despite feeling low can help combat depression.
Identify depressed thinking habits
Suicidal thinking is the ultimate all-or-nothing thinking habit, and the culmination of other habits of depressed thinking which intensify the depression habit spiral. Learn more about identifying and challenging depressed thinking, particularly self bullying.
Start breaking the suicidal thinking habit
We can’t stop thoughts from entering our heads, but we can stop actively inviting them in. Try to stop using thoughts of suicide as a barometer for how bad you are feeling. Use self soothing or distraction techniques when you notice thoughts about suicide bothering you, or practise other techniques for challenging depressed thinking.
Understand some of the reasons for suicidal thinking
Because suicide is such a taboo, you may not be aware of how common it is for people to think about suicide and of the various general reasons for suicidal thinking.
Work on rebuilding meaning in your life
Depression works to drain assumed meaning out of life and challenges us to take responsibility for making our lives meaningful. Challenge the cynicism or perfectionism which may be preventing you from embracing hopeful or constructive ideals and goals for your life.
Coping with suicidal thoughts: the first steps
Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now
Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: "I will wait 24 hours and won't do anything drastic during that time." Or, wait a week.
Thoughts and actions are two different things — your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There’s is no deadline, no one pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between the suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.
Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol
Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.
Step #3: Make your home safe
Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.
Step #4: Be hopeful — people DO get through this
Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.
Step #5: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself
Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a friend, a therapist, a member of the clergy, a teacher, a family doctor, a coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a helpline. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.
A Risky Habit
Suicidal intentions are prompted by a desperate need for relief from intensely painful feelings. Surviving suicidal thoughts is about learning how to find relief without resorting to suicide. Simply having suicidal thoughts does not mean you will act on them. However, the habit of repeatedly thinking about suicide is a risky one. Repetition brings a sense of falsely comforting familiarity. It dulls the instinctive recoil from danger. Though it may be difficult, hold on to the belief that there ARE ways to resist depression and find relief.
Making a Safety Plan
A safety plan helps you plan ahead for the times when you may feel particularly low and at risk of acting on your suicidal thoughts. It is a way to personalise and summarise the possible strategies for taking care of yourself.
"My doctor suggested writing a letter from my ‘well self’ to my ‘suicidal self’ to read at times of crisis. It was very effective to read the words coming ‘from myself’, with options and things that might help."
- Iona 24, North England
A safety plan supports your healthier self – the bit of you that wants to hold on and survive – when things are hard and you are feeling overwhelmed. The strategies listed here offer a solid foundation for creating a safety plan and for working towards breaking the suicidal thinking habit:
Make a commitment to yourself
When you notice thoughts of suicide, challenge the self-bullying habit and make a commitment to taking care of yourself as best you possibly can for the moment. Remind yourself to follow your safety plan if you have made one.
Attend to your self care needs
Suicidal thoughts arise as a result of deeply painful feelings of despair and hopelessness. Recognise the pain you are feeling as something which needs a compassionate and caring response. Practise constructive ways to take care of yourself when you are feeling this way.
Tell someone how you’re feeling
Tell someone else how you are feeling or get someone to be with you. Be prepared for non-professionals to be shocked by what you tell them, and don’t expect a ‘perfect’ response – it is always better to make human contact than to stay isolated and alone with your thoughts.
Reduce the risks
Protect yourself from impulsively acting on your thoughts by putting dangerous objects out of immediate reach. Preferably give pills, weapons etc to someone else for safe-keeping, but even putting them in a locked or inaccessible place makes it a little harder to act impulsively.
Plan to get professional help
It is unreasonable to see suicide as the only solution if you haven’t sought any professional help for depression and suicidal thinking. Doctors and counsellors help many people move on from depression and get appropriate help. You may need to challenge yourself about what’s stopping you getting help.
Check medication side effects
Be aware that some anti-depressant medication can increase the risk of suicidal thinking, especially when you first start taking them. Also, when the medication first starts taking effect it can increase your energy and motivation before improving your mood, increasing the risk of acting on suicidal thoughts. Talk to your doctor about the risks and be extra vigilant with other strategies for keeping yourself safe.
Check alcohol and drugs
Both alcohol and drugs tend to reduce your inhibitions and make it more likely you could do something you will regret the next day. Check your alcohol/drug consumption and try to cut down. Try not to drink alone or to end up alone after drinking.
Minimise time spent alone
Depression and suicidal thinking thrive in isolation. Try to minimise time spent alone in your room – take work to the library, ask friends to be with you at vulnerable times, make plans ahead for weekends and other lonelier times, generally work on building your support networks.
Give yourself small goals
Each evening set yourself small tasks or goals for the next day. It can be something as simple as watching a certain TV programme. Or set yourself another task as soon as you have completed one. Just knowing you can still do things you set for yourself despite feeling low can help combat depression.
Identify depressed thinking habits
Suicidal thinking is the ultimate all-or-nothing thinking habit, and the culmination of other habits of depressed thinking which intensify the depression habit spiral. Learn more about identifying and challenging depressed thinking, particularly self bullying.
Start breaking the suicidal thinking habit
We can’t stop thoughts from entering our heads, but we can stop actively inviting them in. Try to stop using thoughts of suicide as a barometer for how bad you are feeling. Use self soothing or distraction techniques when you notice thoughts about suicide bothering you, or practise other techniques for challenging depressed thinking.
Understand some of the reasons for suicidal thinking
Because suicide is such a taboo, you may not be aware of how common it is for people to think about suicide and of the various general reasons for suicidal thinking.
Work on rebuilding meaning in your life
Depression works to drain assumed meaning out of life and challenges us to take responsibility for making our lives meaningful. Challenge the cynicism or perfectionism which may be preventing you from embracing hopeful or constructive ideals and goals for your life.
Culled and edited. Images: Google
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