Abby Speaks; A Great Woman
It always disturbed me when sexist comments are passed on women by men and women alike. And I find that interesting because I was guilty of doing so too in the past. This conflicting reactions in me made me decide to seek for answers and I want to share my findings with you.
As a driven woman with lots of like minded friends, I'm used to a woman being referred to as a "tomboy", "a woman like a man" (obirin bi okunrin, in my indigenous Yoruba language) and other similar phases. I used to see it as a compliment until the implications of the meaning of what is being said dawned on me. Anytime a woman is successful or making impact or is achieving a noble cause, she is immediately likened to a man; not only by the men but also by women. But when a woman falls short of expectation in whatever area of life, she is never likened to a man.
Does that mean God only made men to be achievers? And any woman that achieves greatness in life only attained this lofty heights by being "like a man"? After years of confusion, internal conflict and identity crisis, I finally got answers to my question.
God made all human beings to be equal. Men and Women alike. It is only the roles he assigned to the two sexes that are different. One is not inferior or superior to the other. And the capacity for greatness is in the two sexes. Greatness is not a male attribute. It is just that we have more great men than women because of the partiachial society in place all over the world.
Men are given more chances to excel. Women are culturally and religiously brain-washed to think they are inferior and are created only to be a wife and a mother, and if they are to have a career or dream, it must never be too big/successful in a way that it will compete with or overshadow her husband's success.
This might not be said verbally, but it is an unwritten rule. It is only the few liberated ones who are blessed with enlightened parents and a solid foundation that are freed from this cruel rule. And the few of us that had to fight for our rights with sweat and blood after nearly perishing under the yoke of abuse, manipulation, bondage, inhuman sufferings and frustration. Only to be likened to a man after coming out victorious! No!! That is not a compliment. It is an insult!!! Accepting that lie as a compliment negates all the pains and sacrifices women have suffered and are suffering to create a space for themselves in the world of greatness.
Enough of the lies of Patriarchy! Lies that only men are meant to be great and that the random woman that attains greatness must be likened to a man before her greatness can be celebrated and recognised. She is a woman when she decided to be great. She is a woman on her journey to greatness and she remains a woman on her throne of greatness!
Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!
Abiade Olawanle Abiola is a Lawyer with an interest in women’s rights, children’s rights, sexual and gender-based violence and
alternative dispute resolution. She has a high degree of professionalism, dedicated to exceptional quality and also an effective team player with outstanding communication and interpersonal skills. She is a member of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria, Institute of Chartered Secretaries and Administrators (ICSA), The Chartered Institute of Arbitrators, Nigeria Branch, member of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA), Oyo State branch and, a member, and the Social Secretary of the Federacion International De Abogadas (FIDA ) known as the International Federation Of Women Lawyers, Oyo State branch. She is the president of Human of Substance Empowerment Initiative.
As a driven woman with lots of like minded friends, I'm used to a woman being referred to as a "tomboy", "a woman like a man" (obirin bi okunrin, in my indigenous Yoruba language) and other similar phases. I used to see it as a compliment until the implications of the meaning of what is being said dawned on me. Anytime a woman is successful or making impact or is achieving a noble cause, she is immediately likened to a man; not only by the men but also by women. But when a woman falls short of expectation in whatever area of life, she is never likened to a man.
Does that mean God only made men to be achievers? And any woman that achieves greatness in life only attained this lofty heights by being "like a man"? After years of confusion, internal conflict and identity crisis, I finally got answers to my question.
God made all human beings to be equal. Men and Women alike. It is only the roles he assigned to the two sexes that are different. One is not inferior or superior to the other. And the capacity for greatness is in the two sexes. Greatness is not a male attribute. It is just that we have more great men than women because of the partiachial society in place all over the world.
Men are given more chances to excel. Women are culturally and religiously brain-washed to think they are inferior and are created only to be a wife and a mother, and if they are to have a career or dream, it must never be too big/successful in a way that it will compete with or overshadow her husband's success.
This might not be said verbally, but it is an unwritten rule. It is only the few liberated ones who are blessed with enlightened parents and a solid foundation that are freed from this cruel rule. And the few of us that had to fight for our rights with sweat and blood after nearly perishing under the yoke of abuse, manipulation, bondage, inhuman sufferings and frustration. Only to be likened to a man after coming out victorious! No!! That is not a compliment. It is an insult!!! Accepting that lie as a compliment negates all the pains and sacrifices women have suffered and are suffering to create a space for themselves in the world of greatness.
Enough of the lies of Patriarchy! Lies that only men are meant to be great and that the random woman that attains greatness must be likened to a man before her greatness can be celebrated and recognised. She is a woman when she decided to be great. She is a woman on her journey to greatness and she remains a woman on her throne of greatness!
Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!
Abiade Olawanle Abiola is a Lawyer with an interest in women’s rights, children’s rights, sexual and gender-based violence and
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