Abby Speaks; Woman, Love Yourself
Every woman is beautiful. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And I have come to realise that the perception of the beholder is greatly influenced by the confidence and attitude of the beheld.
We come in different shapes and sizes. Different skin tones, dentures, body smell and so on. We are so different that any attempt to compare and compete with one another will be a total waste of time.
Instead, it is our responsibility as women to know, accept and love every inch of who we are; spirit, soul and body.
We are spirit beings living in a body, with a soul. We are made up of these three components and they all play an important role in making us an all round healthy and beautiful being. There is no way a person will be a confident, self-assured and secure person without having taken the effort to know, understand, accept and love her body, soul and spirit.
In some parts of the world, Africa included, the girl child is not encouraged or allowed to pay attention to her body while growing up. It's considered to be inappropriate. She is considered vain and forward if she admires herself or seeks compliments on her appearance.
By the time she grows into a lady, she is a total stranger to her body. She does not believe in her beauty and is embarrassed by compliments instead of accepting them gracefully. Because her soul craves to be admired, she becomes addicted to whoever compliments and admires her, even when they treat her badly with their actions, because she was not taught how to admire and believe in her beauty.
To be fair, parents have no intention of destroying the self confidence of their girl child when they do this. They just don't want to bring up a vain, proud and conceited girl who is too focused on her body. But they go to the extreme and end up with a lady with no confidence in her looks. Though she sees a beautiful person in the mirror, she does not feel beautiful, until her beauty is validated by another person.
Except the girl child, who is now a woman, resets her settings, and learn to re-introduce herself to her body, at different stages of life, loving and appreciating herself, with all her perfect imperfections, she will forever feel inadequate and lacking. A feeling that she will pass to generations after her with devastating consequences. There is no perfect body. And there is no ugly body. It all depends on how we perceive ourselves, and this in turn determines how we are perceived by others.
Maximise your potentials. Make the best of what you have. Celebrate every part of your body and love it and you will never be intimidated by what others have, neither will you wish for a different body. And guess what else will happen when you love your body? You will never allow it to be abused or give it to anyone that does not cherish it the way you do. When you condemn and criticize your body to your man with the hope of getting compliments and reassurances from him, you are unknowingly passing across to him a message that you don't love your body, making him to question his love for your body too. If the owner is saying something is wrong with her body, she definitely must be right. It's a No-No habit. Please stop doing that. You are beautiful. Tell yourself this over and over again until you start believing in yourself.
Remember, a woman must also love her soul and spirit too. Watch out for the continuation of this write up on the importance of a woman loving her soul.
Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!
Abiade Olawanle Abiola is a Lawyer with an
interest in women’s rights, children’s rights, sexual and gender-based violence and
alternative dispute resolution. She has a high degree of professionalism, dedicated to exceptional quality and also an effective team player with outstanding communication and interpersonal skills. She is a member of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria, Institute of Chartered Secretaries and Administrators (ICSA), The Chartered Institute of Arbitrators, Nigeria Branch, member of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA), Oyo State branch and, a member, and the Social Secretary of the Federacion International De Abogadas (FIDA ) known as the International Federation Of Women Lawyers, Oyo State branch. She is the president of Human of Substance Empowerment Initiative.
We come in different shapes and sizes. Different skin tones, dentures, body smell and so on. We are so different that any attempt to compare and compete with one another will be a total waste of time.
Instead, it is our responsibility as women to know, accept and love every inch of who we are; spirit, soul and body.
We are spirit beings living in a body, with a soul. We are made up of these three components and they all play an important role in making us an all round healthy and beautiful being. There is no way a person will be a confident, self-assured and secure person without having taken the effort to know, understand, accept and love her body, soul and spirit.
In some parts of the world, Africa included, the girl child is not encouraged or allowed to pay attention to her body while growing up. It's considered to be inappropriate. She is considered vain and forward if she admires herself or seeks compliments on her appearance.
By the time she grows into a lady, she is a total stranger to her body. She does not believe in her beauty and is embarrassed by compliments instead of accepting them gracefully. Because her soul craves to be admired, she becomes addicted to whoever compliments and admires her, even when they treat her badly with their actions, because she was not taught how to admire and believe in her beauty.
To be fair, parents have no intention of destroying the self confidence of their girl child when they do this. They just don't want to bring up a vain, proud and conceited girl who is too focused on her body. But they go to the extreme and end up with a lady with no confidence in her looks. Though she sees a beautiful person in the mirror, she does not feel beautiful, until her beauty is validated by another person.
Except the girl child, who is now a woman, resets her settings, and learn to re-introduce herself to her body, at different stages of life, loving and appreciating herself, with all her perfect imperfections, she will forever feel inadequate and lacking. A feeling that she will pass to generations after her with devastating consequences. There is no perfect body. And there is no ugly body. It all depends on how we perceive ourselves, and this in turn determines how we are perceived by others.
Maximise your potentials. Make the best of what you have. Celebrate every part of your body and love it and you will never be intimidated by what others have, neither will you wish for a different body. And guess what else will happen when you love your body? You will never allow it to be abused or give it to anyone that does not cherish it the way you do. When you condemn and criticize your body to your man with the hope of getting compliments and reassurances from him, you are unknowingly passing across to him a message that you don't love your body, making him to question his love for your body too. If the owner is saying something is wrong with her body, she definitely must be right. It's a No-No habit. Please stop doing that. You are beautiful. Tell yourself this over and over again until you start believing in yourself.
Remember, a woman must also love her soul and spirit too. Watch out for the continuation of this write up on the importance of a woman loving her soul.
Life is to be enjoyed and not to be endured!
Abiade Olawanle Abiola is a Lawyer with an
alternative dispute resolution. She has a high degree of professionalism, dedicated to exceptional quality and also an effective team player with outstanding communication and interpersonal skills. She is a member of the Institute of Chartered Accountants of Nigeria, Institute of Chartered Secretaries and Administrators (ICSA), The Chartered Institute of Arbitrators, Nigeria Branch, member of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA), Oyo State branch and, a member, and the Social Secretary of the Federacion International De Abogadas (FIDA ) known as the International Federation Of Women Lawyers, Oyo State branch. She is the president of Human of Substance Empowerment Initiative.
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