Musing; Undammed
The moment she set eyes on him, all her preparation flew out the door. She had told herself she would not hug him. She didn't know how she would achieve that, but she had resolved not to.
"Babe! Na your face be this!" Guy exclaimed. She smiled. Her tongue had glued itself to the floor of her mouth. He continued, "if you weren't married, I'd have spun you round. But who knows if oga has eyes here. I'd better comport myself."
"You're still the same old you!"
"I chose not to change so you could recognize me."
"Oh, that's magnanimous" she responded with a small jab to his rib cage. She found herself wrapped in a warm embrace with him. She didn't know who made the first move. It didn't matter. She needed that hug. It was friendly. She hoped. She didn't want to let him go but she had to disengage from him.
He held her hand and moved some steps away from her. He admired her.
"You're glowing! This is the person I remember you as. Fine girl!" Her insides melted. She could not recollect when last she was called that. She had taken some extra time to look really good. She styled her hair the way she knew it flaunted her face best. She applied the shade of lipstick she knew he liked. She had even gone for a manicure and pedicure the previous day. She knew he liked well trimmed and good looking nails. She needed to dress up for someone. She really needed to be reassured she had not lost her shine. And he just confirmed that.
"You're not looking bad yourself. Just rounder around the middle." They both laughed.
Guy motioned for them to seat at the restaurant of the hotel and he started to say something. She wasn't listening. Her heart had taken over again. She was wondering. Wondering how differently things could have turned out had she gotten married to Guy. Had he asked her to. She permitted herself to dream.
Back when they were in the university, they shared their dreams with each other. She had told Guy she wanted to be a broadcaster. He had told her the screen would love her. He had said whichever organization was lucky to have her would have its viewership shooting through the clouds. He had told her she could start local, but he was already envisioning her face on international screens. She had laughed back then. Guy had told her to mark his words. She did, because she could remember every one of them now.
She remembered Guy had said he was veering off his Electrical Engineering background and would be an Information Tech guru. She had not doubted him. She could see him, back then, solving complex issues for corporations, giving lectures, consulting, linking the entire world together. She had envisioned him bespectacled. When she told him, he had laughed and said she wanted a partner in the bespectacled club. They had both believed in each other. They had both been looking out for each other. They had both prodded each other on. She had considered him her bff. She could tell him everything. Guy could tell her anything.
How differently things could have turned out. She would not have wasted all the time she had. She would have been an active contributor to the economy of her state, her country and by extension, the world. She had always wondered if there was a connection between the rising rate of domestic abuse and economic growth. Oh yes, there is! She stepped out of herself for a minute and saw a sea of dead women. Those are business women that ceased to be. Those are lawyers, doctors, engineers, accountants, judges, actresses, that ceased to be. Simply because they loved. They dared to love. They took vows of till death do them part. They were not counting on that vow being made to happen, forced to happen. These could have been drivers of the economy, frontliners. Their abilities and capabilities were gone with them. Forever. They had dreams. They had ambitions. They had lofty ideas. They had plans. On the other side, she saw depressed women, some on incapacitating medication. Some were chained to beds in psych wards. She clenched her fist and without meaning to, she brought it down hard on the table.
Guy jumped. Those around them were staring. She had been out of her body for just about a minute, but it felt like hours. She calmed herself down. Guy nodded to those who had made them a spectacle, dismissing them, silently saying the party was over. He held her hand, stared into her eyes long and hard. She looked back at him for a few seconds. She could not hold his gaze. His next words broke her.
"Babe, what's wrong?"
"Babe! Na your face be this!" Guy exclaimed. She smiled. Her tongue had glued itself to the floor of her mouth. He continued, "if you weren't married, I'd have spun you round. But who knows if oga has eyes here. I'd better comport myself."
"You're still the same old you!"
"I chose not to change so you could recognize me."
"Oh, that's magnanimous" she responded with a small jab to his rib cage. She found herself wrapped in a warm embrace with him. She didn't know who made the first move. It didn't matter. She needed that hug. It was friendly. She hoped. She didn't want to let him go but she had to disengage from him.
He held her hand and moved some steps away from her. He admired her.
"You're glowing! This is the person I remember you as. Fine girl!" Her insides melted. She could not recollect when last she was called that. She had taken some extra time to look really good. She styled her hair the way she knew it flaunted her face best. She applied the shade of lipstick she knew he liked. She had even gone for a manicure and pedicure the previous day. She knew he liked well trimmed and good looking nails. She needed to dress up for someone. She really needed to be reassured she had not lost her shine. And he just confirmed that.
"You're not looking bad yourself. Just rounder around the middle." They both laughed.
Guy motioned for them to seat at the restaurant of the hotel and he started to say something. She wasn't listening. Her heart had taken over again. She was wondering. Wondering how differently things could have turned out had she gotten married to Guy. Had he asked her to. She permitted herself to dream.
Back when they were in the university, they shared their dreams with each other. She had told Guy she wanted to be a broadcaster. He had told her the screen would love her. He had said whichever organization was lucky to have her would have its viewership shooting through the clouds. He had told her she could start local, but he was already envisioning her face on international screens. She had laughed back then. Guy had told her to mark his words. She did, because she could remember every one of them now.
She remembered Guy had said he was veering off his Electrical Engineering background and would be an Information Tech guru. She had not doubted him. She could see him, back then, solving complex issues for corporations, giving lectures, consulting, linking the entire world together. She had envisioned him bespectacled. When she told him, he had laughed and said she wanted a partner in the bespectacled club. They had both believed in each other. They had both been looking out for each other. They had both prodded each other on. She had considered him her bff. She could tell him everything. Guy could tell her anything.
How differently things could have turned out. She would not have wasted all the time she had. She would have been an active contributor to the economy of her state, her country and by extension, the world. She had always wondered if there was a connection between the rising rate of domestic abuse and economic growth. Oh yes, there is! She stepped out of herself for a minute and saw a sea of dead women. Those are business women that ceased to be. Those are lawyers, doctors, engineers, accountants, judges, actresses, that ceased to be. Simply because they loved. They dared to love. They took vows of till death do them part. They were not counting on that vow being made to happen, forced to happen. These could have been drivers of the economy, frontliners. Their abilities and capabilities were gone with them. Forever. They had dreams. They had ambitions. They had lofty ideas. They had plans. On the other side, she saw depressed women, some on incapacitating medication. Some were chained to beds in psych wards. She clenched her fist and without meaning to, she brought it down hard on the table.
Guy jumped. Those around them were staring. She had been out of her body for just about a minute, but it felt like hours. She calmed herself down. Guy nodded to those who had made them a spectacle, dismissing them, silently saying the party was over. He held her hand, stared into her eyes long and hard. She looked back at him for a few seconds. She could not hold his gaze. His next words broke her.
"Babe, what's wrong?"
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